Friday, February 11, 2011

8 uncomplicated steps to becoming utterly unforgettable


Since writer’s conference season is starting (does it have a start or an end?), I thought I’d include a list of ways to be unforgettable at a writer’s conference:
  1. Be moody. Especially if you haven’t been published yet. In fact, the more you complain about that fact, the more people will remember you.
  2. Exaggerate—A LOT. Your stories are bigger and better, anyway. Plus, who wouldn’t want to know how you were “nearly” discovered by the biggest publishing houses nearly a hundred times.
  3. Show off. Make sure everyone knows you’re The Best Writer. Also, that you’re a faster runner, a better tennis player, or a higher jumper than everyone else, too.
  4. Be sarcastic. When you make jokes, make sure someone’s feelings get hurt. Biting jokes are the best kind if you want to be unforgettable. Your blunt observations will definitely be remembered years down the road.
  5. Stalk. Follow the agents and editors wherever they go, especially in the bathroom. Then, find their cell numbers and text them every half-hour. Those you pursue will never forget you in the years to come.
  6. Be bossy. It’s okay to become furious when people don’t do things your way. After all, your ideas are naturally better than anyone else’s. You’re a true artist.
  7. Gossip. Tell someone their story is great, then turn around and tell everyone else how much it stunk. The more rumors you can spread and personal secrets you can share, the better. Pretty soon you could be the most memorable conference attendee. Ever.
  8. Be self-centered. Remember: even though the world doesn’t revolve around you, it should.
If you recognize any of these traits in yourself, congratulations! You could well be on your way to becoming unforgettable already. You may try all of the steps at once, or select only your favorites, because they will all eventually help you stand out in the crowd. You may even become one of the most talked-about, memorable people at your conference.
However, if you are interested in enjoying your conference, you may want to do the opposite of each of these steps. This will guarantee lasting friendships. After all, who wouldn’t want to be around someone cheerful, sincere or considerate? Probably the unforgettable crowd, that’s who.

6 comments:

  1. Very funny! I actually did once stalk an author/illustrator at a conference. Totally accidentally, I promise!

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  2. LOL! I had one of those (or two) in my class last year, and you're right - I still remember them!

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  3. I hope I'm not quite this memorable...

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  4. I'm still looking forward to my first writer's conference in August, but I'll do my best to make it a memorable one...and not be this forgettable :)

    In the meantime, you've just won the contest on my blog!
    Congrats! I hope to hear from you soon!

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  5. I think these truly "unforgettable" people are thankfully rare, so you don't have to worry :)
    and Yay for me! I won! Thanks, Martinelli...

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