If someone wishes you “Happy Holidays” today, you might want to ask, “Which one?”
Today is National Ding-a-Ling day. A holiday created just for ding-dongs like me.
Writers are notorious for being a bit scatter-brainy. We have so much on our minds – inventing fictional friends, going to imaginary places, and accomplishing amazing feats of bravery in our own heads – we sometimes forget to feed our families, clean our houses, or make sure our husbands have enough black socks to wear to work. And then our husbands have to wear our girly black socks, which barely fit on such manly feet.
One day I took my spaciness to a new level. I was knee-deep in another world, and I forgot I had a family at all.
(A demanding pounding sounds on the front door)
Me: Now who could that be, interrupting my imaginary world.
(considers ignoring rude people pounding on door, but instead, crosses room and opens it up to two cold 4 year olds standing on porch, breath coming out in icy puffs)
4 year old: Mom! You forgot to pick me up from preschool!
Other 4 year old: Yeah, lady! I had to walk your kid home, but I’m just a kid, myself, if you haven’t noticed.
Me, looking at my son: Oh. Do you live here, too?
(Or maybe I just said sorry for forgetting, and then made hot chocolate. I’m such a ding-a-ling, I can’t remember.)
I’d like to say this only happened once. But then I’d by lying. I may invent stories where fake people go fake places and do fake things, but I’m no liar.
If you have ever been an air head, or a scatter-brain, or a ditz, or even just a flibbertigibbit, you can buy yourself a Ding Dong, and join with me as I make a toast to all Ding-a-Lings in the world. If you've ever been odd, or crazy, or kooky, you can join in, too! This is a festive occasion for all.
And if someone wishes you "Happy Holidays" today, watch out. They might just be telling you exactly what they think of you!