Levi’s has a new style of denim called Water<Less. Which is fabulous. That’s how I wear my jeans. Without water.
Here's why: There’s a secret file deep within the FBI’s vault called Questioning Tactics too Ghastly to Use. The method goes something like this:
“If you don’t tell us what we want to know, we’ll put you in watered-down denim.”
“No! Anything but that. I’ll spill the beans!”
Trust me. I know all about this kind of torture. When I was a kid, I walked to school. Actually, when it was dark outside, it was more of a scurry. When it was hot, I shlumped instead.
On snowy days, I sat around in wet jeans for several hours after walking to school. My calculus teacher thought I had concentration issues. In reality it was Watered-Down Denim Syndrome.
It’s hard to focus on the Cylindrical Shell Method when your Levi’s are rug-burning your legs. Peeling wet jeans off for P.E. could be considered a cruel and unusual punishment. Squeezing cantankerous legs back into the same wet jeans is something school principals use to control unruly students, when the threat of detention doesn’t seem to cut it.
But these new “Water-less” jeans aren’t about torture. Or scurrying to school in the snow. Or even about calculus. It’s all about preserving the environment.
Apparently, making denim uses a lot of water. They have to water the cotton. They have to water the cotton pickers. They have to water the brand-spanking new jeans to make them look like brand-spanking old jeans.
In a burst of genius, someone decided to use stones to wash the jeans, instead of H20. Even though they did this back in the 80’s, it took thirty years to realize wearing 80’s jeans can save nearly two million liters of water. Peg-legging the 80’s jeans will leave even more of an impact on the planet.
Levi’s has done their part, and now they want me to do mine. If I cut back on laundry, I can save over 8 million liters of water. Just think how much I’ll conserve if I never do laundry again!
It’s nice to know I’m making the world a better place, one laundry basket at a time.