Monday, March 19, 2012

A letter to the spiders who built a web across my front door this morning:

Dear spiders,

I wish you would stop scaring me.
It's a big, wide world, with plenty of other people you could bother.
But everytime I turn around, there you are, watching me with your beady little eyes. 

I know you create beautiful, intricate webs that some people consider miraculous.
And I've been told that your sticky webs can be useful to humans.
But you spin them in places I need to go, and when I get there, they cling to my face!

I know you help rid the world of pesky insects.
You eat filthy flies and poky mosquitoes.
But I feel sorry for the poor bug that is wrapped like a burrito in your web, because if I was smaller, that tasty wrap could have been me.

I know you don’t want to hurt me.
You’re only dangerous when you feel threatened.
But you nearly give me a heart attack every time I see you, which isn't good for my health.

I know your venom can help people.
It can even prevent brain damage in some people. 
But I don't want your venom in me. You bit me once, and it itched for days.

I know spiders are useful.
And there are plenty of nice ones around.
But I still think you should start seeing other people.

A. Rakno Phobic


  1. I empathise completely. I think spiders know that I'm terrified of them, because it seems like they seek me out just to hear my pitiful shriek at the sight of them. I'm seriously considering hiring someone just to protect me from spiders.

  2. I've heard they help pigs too. But only the humble ones : )