Saturday, October 19, 2013
I'm fluent in Southern
So I had to learn the hard way. Some people send their kids to Immersion School, when you have to hear and speak a language all the time to learn it fluently. But my School of Hard Knocks Immersion School wasn't easy, and I was at the bottom of the class.
When I went to get my driver's license the first week we were in town, the conversation with the guy behind the counter went something like this:
Him: Way tame hen hit. Eye no summon from ewe taw. They Oz mans.
Me: Pardon me?
Him (repeating whatever he just said).
Me (feeling like an idiot): Could you repeat that?
My husband: He said he knows someone from one from Utah. The Osmonds.
Me (blushing like crazy for needing a translator): Oh. Yeah. The Osmonds are great.
Him: What? Did youth ink eye have a pretty schack scent?
Him (under his breath so I couldn't hear): Sheeze amen talk ace.
That's how my first few months as a southern belle went. I hoped people just assumed I was going deaf. In the fashion world, some people wear fake glasses as an accessory. I considered buying sparkly fake hearing-aids in a lovely puce color, so everyone would just nod and say, "Sheikh ant ear russ."
But, Immersion School really works. After a while, I didn't have to ask people to repeat themselves more six-hundred times. I never got the accent down, except for an occasional y'all. But at least I can finally understand when the grocery bagger asks, "Plat stick or pay per?"
Seriously. This is eight roost oar he. And I worked so hard learning southern that I can now have ace hen solve bride.
You would, too, I bet. If ewe wormy. :)